Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Retirement

The answer to everyone’s question, Why did you stop?...
Ever since I was a little girl I would tell my mom “I want to be like her. I want to be a prima ballerina.” She gave the motherly answer of: “Okay hunny. You can do anything you put your mind to, but you do know it’s a lot of hard work and dedication.”

Throughout my dancing career I went through three phases: quirky and cute little girl, the “I’m too cool for anything” phase, and then the loud and proud phase. As a little girl I started off with tap, jazz, and ballet, but I really took a liking to ballet (obviously). So I dropped the tap and jazz to focus on ballet. As I got older in the late elementary and middle school years I was ashamed of being a ballerina since everyone made fun of me for it. Then I grew out of that phase and was proud of being a ballerina and didn’t care what people said. It was my passion and it made me happy.

As I got older the classes increased in quality and quantity, and it feels like I’ve attended every dance school in and around Philadelphia. Practices were long and grueling but it was worth every second; the recitals were my drug and gave me a high. I felt on top of the world and it was the happiest day of my life. I was even able to perform in the Nutcracker; which was a breath taking experience. I worked hard every year for that one day that made me feel so good. For twelve years I went on that stage and performed my heart out. I got to a point in my life where I would have to go professional, and I wasn’t ready for that. I would have had to dedicate my life to nonstop practices, eat, sleep, and live in the studio. I didn’t feel like I would be able to juggle dance and school and give each 100%. After countless practices and twelve glorious recitals the prima ballerina called it quits.

Now I regret it and wish I could turn back time.